


The Beautiful Truth (Part 2 of The Beautiful Lie)

by VixxFixxion



Category: Starlights, VIXX
Genre: Anal, Blow Job, Canon, Consent, Cosmic Climax, Fellatio, M/M, NSFW, PWP, Smut, somnophilia with consent, submissive tendency, suggestion of subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VixxFixxion/pseuds/VixxFixxion
Summary: Taekwoon is blindsided by his sudden insecurities, even though when it comes down to it, he knows exactly what he wants and asks for it.
Relationships: Jung Taekwoon / Kim Wonsik, Leo / Ravi, Taekwoon / Wonsik, wontaek - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	The Beautiful Truth (Part 2 of The Beautiful Lie)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the follow on from The Beautiful Lie. I intended it to simply be an escalation and revisit of the Rabid Sex, but everything else crept in, including my need to make every single step analysable and overthinkable. Again, I hope I got the mix just right.
> 
> I wanted to explore how a person who might have impulsive tendencies that they somehow do not act upon (i.e. perhaps jumping to conclusions, or not allowing circumstances to play out fully, or maybe just feeling the first flush of love after a long holding back) would act, when it is time to act (i.e. sexy time)
> 
> Or maybe I decided that is what I was trying to explore after I finished haha.
> 
> Hope you like it, please do leave comments, I love them, ngl.
> 
> Am on twitter @vfixxion - follow for notifs, it's all am really good for at the moment.
> 
> Hope you are all staying safe and healthy :)

“Tell me what the fuck happened!” Hakyeon whispered excitedly.

Taekwoon shook his head. He really did not want to share.

He sipped wine out of the glass in his hand, remembering Wonsik’s quiet, intimate demand in his ear.

_What do you think, Hyung, did I show you?_

Taekwoon felt a surge of heat in his groin, and he felt his cock twitch.

Wonsik might have been crowing with pride at that moment, but Taekwoon had also heard something else, something a little plaintive, and young. Wonsik, who had told him he wouldn’t have said no, had wanted some affirmation that he had done what he promised to do. Was he looking for praise? Hiding a little trepidation behind the bravado? How would it have been if Taekwoon had told Wonsik that he had pleased him, had made him feel so good?

Taekwoon wanted to know.

Hakyeon gasped, moving away suddenly to check on a pot that was bubbling over on his stove. They were standing in his kitchen, whose hob was on a counter facing the living room and tv, where everyone else was lounging.

He poured another glass of wine and set it next to Hakyeon, who then called upon Hyuk to come do some work. Hyuk got up, moaning about missing something important in the movie, but Hakyeon just gave him some cream to whip in a bowl, then set about preparing some fresh berries and stone fruit to eat.

“Channel some of your frustration into this,” he said, ignoring Hyuk’s protests and gesturing to him to start whipping.

Taekwoon looked up to find Wonsik coming out of Hakyeon’s bedroom and walking back to the sofa - and he had to remind himself to breathe as he watched him approach.

It was different now. He didn’t have to hide anything. From Wonsik, that is.

So he watched, openly, as Wonsik walked barefoot towards the kitchen, unaware he was being watched - leered at - by Taekwoon. The latent power in his limbs was lightened somewhat by the boyishness of his gait. Perhaps it was his posture, perhaps how his body’s shape made him look like a colt, all limbs and haunches and raw energy. Despite the soft and languid flow of his steps, his well-toned long legs and muscular weight gave him the dynamism of a thoroughbred - and Taekwoon liked that a lot.

Wonsik walked with his chest high, but head bowed, and when he glanced at the tv and the others lying around it from under his brow, it struck Taekwoon that he looked particularly sexy, just so.

When he lifted a hand up and used his thumb to drag down the corner of his mouth, displaying his muscular forearm and wrist that was loosely dressed with his heavy watch and a folded-back shirt cuff, Taekwoon might have moaned - if he had not already had so many years’ experience hiding his desire.

Wonsik veered towards the sofa and lay down on it, partially hidden from view by the kitchen counter that Taekwoon was standing behind.

If that face would turn to him. If those eyes would look at him. If that hand would-

Taekwoon wished he could just stroke himself, just for a moment, for a little relief.

He wished they were back in Wonsik’s dim studio apartment. There seemed to be so much left to do to each other.

It was only a few hours ago that he had helped Wonsik fold his shirt cuff back, a small but intimate gesture that they had watched him do together, in silence. And only a few hours before that, Wonsik had fucked him wildly into the sheets, groaning with abandon when he came, then sleepily fingered him til he climaxed a second time.

Taekwoon could feel his skin warming. He had whined and ground against Wonsik’s thigh like a creature in heat, panting as he stared into Wonsik’s hooded eyes. Wonsik had liked it, and Taekwoon had liked it too, a lot.

It seemed there was a lot to like about Wonsik, today.

Taekwoon could not believe how different the early morning had been, compared to the fraught and over-emotional evening before. Years of hiding, of restraint and what seemed like futile, miserable loneliness, all gone, evaporated into the ether along with a few climaxes and some physical intimacy.

Taekwoon leaned over the counter, as if to watch the tv, but really, to hide his erection. Whilst he enjoyed savouring this newfound intimacy between himself and Wonsik, he really did not want to horrify Hyuk or even Hakyeon with a helpless display of the nature of his attraction for him.

Also, he felt deeply that sharing anything right now, was going to take the sweetness out of it, or dilute their intense awareness of each other. Or rather, Taekwoon’s awareness of Wonsik. He glanced down at Wonsik, who had his eyes trained on the tv, his neck craning so that he could lie back in the sofa.

The man hadn’t even looked at him since they finished dinner. And during dinner, when the conversation had been lively and happy, he had spent most of it stuffing his face and nodding and shrugging amiably at anything that was directed at him. Taekwoon felt stupidly aware of every little thing he was doing, which was annoying, because it felt as if Wonsik was more enamoured of the food in his bowl than of his new lover sitting opposite.

Perhaps he was being discrete, which was more than Taekwoon had been, staring lewdly at him almost all night.

Suddenly Wonsik looked at him out of the corner of his eye and smiled a little smile before straightening his neck to turn to stare straight at him. To his own mortification, Taekwoon dropped his gaze before he could help it. He regretted it at once, because he didn’t like feeling that he couldn’t hold Wonsik’s gaze. It’s just that, it felt too intense. And, except in bed, Wonsik had never looked at him that way in front of others.

Taekwoon could feel the blood rising in his neck, and was sure that he was flushing in his cheeks. Without any warning, he recalled the feel and weight of Wonsik’s cock, heavy on his tongue. He felt his mouth water, and thought of his body’s immediate softening and hardening response as positively Pavlovian. He was sure Wonsik was almost smirking at him now, and Taekwoon thought rather vengefully, that he would love to change the look on his face. It felt a little humiliating that the only way he could think of doing it was to surprise him by taking his cock in his mouth and swallowing him down before he could do anything about it. Oh, how his face would change then.

Taekwoon felt lust bloom in his body like a burgeoning, red and bloody flower, its petals billowing desire as they engorged and flooded his body with a pulsating, dirty throbbing heat.

God, he wanted to suck Wonsik’s dick till his eyes rolled back in his head.

He glanced surreptitiously at Wonsik, sure that his face was red and that his veins were throbbing just under his skin. To his frustration, Wonsik was still gazing at him with that drawling smirk. That look spoke of knowing, as if Wonsik could tell that Taekwoon was remembering that very sensation of his cock on his tongue - but it was also open, and warm, as if they were the only people in the room, and had each found a friend. Taekwoon felt ridiculously aware of how dangerous that look was for him - and how easily he wanted to fall into this thing between them.

Wonsik gestured minutely for Taekwoon to lie down with him. A little eyebrow shrug, a tiny cock of the head.

Taekwoon’s eyes widened, and he shot a look at Jaehwan, who was sitting in the armchair next to where Wonsik’s head lay on the arm of the sofa, and then Hongbin, who was in a beanbag right in front of the tv.

Jaehwan looked up, saw the startled nature of Taekwoon’s look, and turned to Wonsik to see what the look was all about. From his angle, he couldn’t see Wonsik’s expression, nor would he, if Wonsik just stayed still.

Then Wonsik beckoned to Taekwoon to come lie down with him again, this time with a little crook of two fingers on his hand, which was casually lain across his pelvis.

Jaehwan’s mouth dropped open.

Taekwoon could hear the cogs turning in Jaehwan’s mind as he processed the meaning of Wonsik gesturing to Taekwoon to come over secretively, with his hand over his crotch like that. Taekwoon would never stand to be beckoned so casually, so patronisingly, by a junior, a younger brother, like Wonsik. The only reason Wonsik would do that - and the only reason Taekwoon would let him, was if-

Taekwoon could see the moment when comprehension hit Jaehwan, and he stopped nodding at his own thoughts.

Wonsik just kept smirking at Taekwoon, unaware that Jaehwan was taking in the whole exchange with wide-eyed curiosity.

Taekwoon ripped his eyes from Wonsik’s, and turned them to stare straight ahead at the tv.

He knew Jaehwan was distractable enough to actually forget he saw anything, but Taekwoon was not quick enough to think of anything to distract him with. Plus, he was sure he looked guilty, or ashamed, or at least, a party to Wonsik’s overtures. And now, to Wonsik, he had likely looked cold, dismissive or just downright disgusted, and Taekwoon was plenty enough distracted by that to try and think of something to redirect Jaehwan’s attention at the same time.

He thought, he really didn’t think the others would mind knowing, it’s just that he didn’t know if Wonsik would mind. And he felt that he himself minded very much.

Because, as he had felt as soon as Hakyeon asked, he just did not feel like sharing. The words ran around in his head. He didn’t want to share.

He saw Jaehwan turn back to the movie, out of the corner of his eye.

Then he chanced a look at Wonsik.

Wonsik was staring at him lazily, as if fully expecting that he would just come lie with him when he was invited to. But, the fingers of that hand on his crotch, gently stroked against the hard fabric of his jeans, once, twice. There wasn’t any pressure, just a feathery touch. Taekwoon saw it, then looked back at Wonsik.

Whatever smirk, or humour or warmth that was there before, it was gone. Wonsik’s eyes, usually gentle and expressive, were now hooded and dark, his jaw jutting a little, as if he were put out. Sullen.

He had never really felt that sort of energy directed at him, from Wonsik. Anger, irritation, impatience, yes. But this… it wasn’t disappointment, nor was it threatening. It was almost a “how could you?” but, it wasn’t a complaint. It was personal, intimate, and all about Taekwoon.

Fuck, if it didn’t make Taekwoon want to do whatever it would take, both to remove that look, and to make it last all night.

Wonsik beckoning to him playfully to join him on the sofa, and then growing dark when Taekwoon seemed to pointedly ignore him, was hot.

Truth was, he wanted very much to press his back into Wonsik’s chest, to feel the push of it against his spine. Because, just hours ago, they had been, when Wonsik had buried himself into his most personal centre, and they had found the deepest pleasure there, just the two of them.

Oh, how he wanted to be in Wonsik’s arms right now.

If they were alone, he would have responded. But here - he wasn’t ready to give anything away.

He bowed his head, feeling like his face and neck were burning, and couldn’t help swallow as he tried to get back to the reality of them being in Hakyeon’s living room.

He heard Wonsik moan a tight little moan, then suddenly clear his throat and shift on the sofa, as Hakyeon came bustling out from behind him in the kitchen, flourishing a big bowl of fruit drizzled with honey. Behind him, Hyuk dawdled with an enormous bowl of aggressively-whipped cream.

“He made butter, but that’s okay!” Hakyeon said spiritedly, getting everyone to sit up and help themselves to dessert.

Thankfully Hakyeon passed Taekwoon a bowl full of the fruity concoction so that he wouldn’t have to come away from the counter, and Taekwoon resigned himself to watching Wonsik out of the corner of his eye as he sat up and hunched over his bowl and ate it all up, oblivious.

***

Taekwoon waved goodbye to the others and stood at the door to Wonsik’s car, his backpack held primly by the loop at the top, in both hands as they hung straight down in front of him. He felt like a schoolboy, standing to attention, or waiting for permission.

For a wild moment, he realised that he had assumed he would be going home with Wonsik, and suddenly felt he might perhaps have been wise to check with Wonsik if he could, first. He felt a little lost, so different from the last time he had stood at this same position, the night before, when he had confidently imposed on Wonsik’s courtesy and gotten in the car pretty much uninvited.

Thoughts of Wonsik and his damned cock had kept Taekwoon’s stress level on a low boil for almost two hours as they finished the movie while he surreptitiously waited out his stubborn erection so that he could emerge from the kitchen at last and find a place to sit as they wound the evening down with some idle chat.

After their tiny intense moment, Wonsik was back to ignoring him again, and Taekwoon had felt the burn of knowing that he couldn’t keep his eyes off him, couldn’t help his body language, couldn’t help being hyper aware of him - but Wonsik could.

Except for that pleasing moment when he was sure he had heard Wonsik moan inadvertently, it seemed to Taekwoon that uppermost in Wonsik’s mind this evening was food and vague communication and not acknowledging him at all.

It made Taekwoon feel like he was obsessing over him alone, and he didn’t like it.

He had spent years keeping his infatuation, as he would have called it before last night, under control.

Where the fuck was all that control now? His heart was still beating in his throat, and his lust anxiety had been steadily on an upwardly intensifying curve since they walked into Hakyeon’s house together.

And now, he stood tentatively waiting to get into Wonsik’s car, and was just realising that perhaps, he had misconceived what was happening between them. That Wonsik might think he was a fool for standing there, waiting to get in the car.

Was it simply physical for Wonsik? How had he gone a whole evening barely acknowledging Taekwoon’s presence?

Then again, Taekwoon could see the possibility that he was over-reacting. After all, part of the reason he was agitated was because he could still feel Wonsik’s touch all over his skin, and had been lusting after his cock with a mouth-watering intensity that positively churned him up inside. He wanted to feel him all over again. He wanted his fingers pulling on his skin, his mouth sucking at his pulse points, his sounds vibrating against his body, his weight making his breaths precious, and shallow.

He could feel the word Fuck forming in his mouth. _Fuck me fuck me fuck me_.

It made him want to cry.

Hakyeon had already said goodnight, and Taekwoon waited for the others to wave as they drove off, avoiding Jaehwan’s searching eyes and standing still by the car.

Wonsik was walking round to the driver’s side, and still looked as if he didn’t even notice Taekwoon had been there all along.

Taekwoon wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what he could possibly say or ask.

He felt like, he had been through a lot, nursing this emptiness for so long. At the same time, he knew that if Wonsik was not interested in anything more than last night, he would step away from it, even if it was hard. He could never chase Wonsik if he didn’t want it, he knew himself enough to know that.

So, to a certain extent, he felt able to accept a disappointing outcome.

But, Wonsik had asked him. _Did I show you?_

And they had shared those quiet, restful moments together, getting ready to go out.

Perhaps he was an idiot, but it all meant so much to Taekwoon, and he had thought it had meant something to Wonsik.

Taekwoon could see that he was watching himself carefully, and that there was a part of him that was detached, anticipatory. And another part of him that wanted, desperately, to have Wonsik look at him that way again.

Wonsik ignoring him, seemed cruel, as if it were putting him in his place. Yet, it was the very thing that was making him want.

Taekwoon snapped out of his reverie as he heard Wonsik’s door shut and the engine start. He stared at the driver’s side over the top of the car in disbelief. Was he going to drive away?

Then suddenly through the window he saw Wonsik’s hand reach over to open and push his door wide. He heard the soft rumble of Wonsik’s husky voice.

“Hyungie, get in.”

It was gentle, tired - and every little thought he had had, that somehow, Wonsik was not what he seemed, disappeared. It was strange, like the disparity of all his thoughts, his conflicting emotions and confused restlessness, stopped clamouring for his attention, and zipped neatly into their compartments in his mind.

Taekwoon felt pulled back to himself again. Whole.

It was just Wonsik, kind and soft.

Taekwoon got in, and found his hand being taken lightly, as Wonsik interlocked their little fingers together in a soft grasp. They both looked down at their hands, resting on Taekwoon’s thigh.

“Will you come home with me tonight?” he heard that rumbling whisper as if it were a caress against his skin.

He nodded, feeling at once grateful and justified.

He hadn’t really wasted all those years caring silently for some thoughtless asshole, had he?

He had done it for this gentle soul.

**

The walk to the lift lobby. The elevator ride. The interminable journey as Wonsik led them into the premises, through the waiting room, the long hallway, the door with the passcode, and finally, into his studio apartment where, the only light was the glow of the city through the window blinds, and the one light they had left on in the bathroom.

Wonsik turned immediately after he walked into the room, and before Taekwoon could drop his bag or slip off his shoes, he had taken him gently by the shoulders and pushed him back against the door to help it shut, and pressed his body flush against Taekwoon’s to kiss him deeply, wet, as he moaned softly.

Taekwoon felt his erection hard against his crotch, and felt himself hardening immediately.

Wonsik’s kiss wasn’t urgent, but there was a pressure that Taekwoon could only think of as assertive. Persistent. It was intense, delving and intimate, and the sounds he was making reminded Taekwoon of how he ate - ravenous, focused, all about sensation.

Taekwoon could feel himself receiving in all senses of the word. He was letting Wonsik in, his body soft and languid against the door as Wonsik’s physicality seemed to enshroud him. He was cocooned, and he felt like he was feeding from Wonsik, kisses and tongue and moans swallowed deep inside, sustaining him and filling him up.

It was breathtaking, and he felt as if he could walk to the ends of the earth at Wonsik’s behest.

It was a peculiar sense of, he wouldn’t call it submission, but rather a feeling that he was letting himself go. Like he was utterly, minutely present in this one moment. Besides the intense physical turn on, he felt his mind clear of anything, except an awareness of the physical body of Wonsik, with his probing, hot tongue, and his grinding cock, and his warm, strong hold on him - as well as his light and energy. His soul.

Taekwoon was aware of something clean and innocent, an intention that he might never have realised or articulated to himself before this moment. He let go of all the wariness, the restraint and self control, that coloured his experience of Wonsik for so long, and only sensed him, urgent and passionate, pushing in on Taekwoon with the intention of someone who wanted to prove he could love him right.

Making that distinction for himself brought things to light for Taekwoon - that Wonsik, self-assured and capable as he was, had some reverence for Taekwoon, and that he could feel that reverence in his kiss.

When Wonsik slowed, and pulled away gently to look into Taekwoon’s eyes, Taekwoon felt emotion come up suddenly, and he couldn’t help the tears that formed in them.

His head, leaning back against the door, his eyes brimming with feeling and desire, his mouth red and lax from being loved and laved so heatedly, his heart full and light and floating... Taekwoon was high with lust and something else, something deep and lasting and a little like kinship, a little like soulship. It spilled from him, out of his mouth, past the tip of his tongue.

“I love you,” he whispered, tears falling as he gasped and closed his eyes.

He saw a glimmer of surprise in Wonsik’s mien before he shut him out, and despaired that maybe he was a stupid, stupid fool.

He tried to twist away, tried to take this silly, ridiculous hot embarrassment and leave, but felt his hands get captured gently in Wonsik’s, and his body as he pressed gently against him, and his lips as he dipped his face to nose up into Taekwoon’s neck and near his ear, and his breath, warm and intimate as he cooed softly to calm him down.

“Taekwoonnie,” he heard him say, and then he was kissing him again, and this time Taekwoon was moaning, sobbing, into Wonsik’s mouth, and he felt himself being touched, slowly, lightly, up his arms and down his sides, until Wonsik’s warm hands encircled his waist and pulled him tight against him.

He felt Wonsik pull back, and a light hand come up to smooth the tears from his face. Before he could open his eyes, he felt warm lips press softly on his eyelids, one after the other, Wonsik’s warm breath heating his skin.

Then, there was space between them, and the cool air that wafted over his skin made it prickle. He opened his eyes at last, to find Wonsik watching him with a patient kindness.

They were standing, arms around each others’ waists, just looking at each other.

“Did I make you mad?” Wonsik was talking low, but Taekwoon could feel the rumble of his voice in his skin where they were touching.

Taekwoon wondered what he meant. He guessed he might have appeared mad at Wonsik at some point.

“When?”

“When I beckoned to you. Was that rude?”

“Oh. No. Jaehwan saw you.”

Wonsik’s mouth dropped open into an O.

“You looked angry.”

“It didn’t stop you though,” Taekwoon heard himself sulking. He hated it. Sounding like that made him feel like he had no confidence in his feelings, and could only play the petulance card. But he felt if he took a more strident tone, he might start an argument with some overwrought sentiment.

When had he become so soft, so mad with feeling?

He was thoroughly surprised to find Wonsik cuddle suddenly against him, fitting his face into Taekwoon’s neck again and giggling as he mumbled something about not really being sorry. Taekwoon gasped, taken aback but also reacting to the sensation of Wonsik’s breath and lips against his neck.

Wonsik’s cuddle turned into something else as he inhaled deeply and moaned on his out-breath, his pelvis resuming its gentle, slow grind, his arms sliding up along the sides of Taekwoon’s back and holding him as close as he could.

“I was trying to be discrete,” he whispered, licking Taekwoon’s skin and closing his mouth over a spot to suck.

“Ah, fuck,” Taekwoon cried, feeling like he could orgasm with one more suck on his skin.

“I tried so hard, but I failed,” Wonsik said, and Taekwoon could hear the smile in his tone.

“Because you looked like you had something on your mind too,” he murmured, finally pulling back to look at him again, this time, with that same dark expression that Taekwoon had seen him use when he was on that couch.

In a moment, that darkness turned dangerous, accusatory, as Wonsik whispered harshly to him, “You were thinking of me, thinking of what we did last night.”

“Yes,” Taekwoon could feel all the fight go out of him, could feel the want being whipped up, little tendrils of thick vaporous desire reaching in response to Wonsik’s voice and gaze, reaching for him while bringing up all his hidden, deepest wants with it.

“I could have fucked you over the counter, you wanted it so bad,” he snarled, and Taekwoon gasped at the aggression he heard in his tone, in the idea, turning his head away and squeezing shut his eyes, pulling on Wonsik desperately so that he could fuck his hips against his hardness. He felt hopeless, helpless against this overwhelming desire, at once mortified by his shameless humping, and freed by it. He heard Wonsik cry out too, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening with him.

“Yes,” he managed to breathe, an unbidden thought occurring to him that the only thing that could save him from his own mortification was if Wonsik was to fuck it out of him.

Oh god, what was happening to him? He felt like he didn’t know himself at all. He felt like he was grasping at meaning as if it were falling out of his hands, and as if he were falling out of the sky.

“You were ready to lose yourself in it, but then you went cold,” Wonsik muttered over Taekwoon’s gasps. That idea caught itself in Taekwoon’s mind, and his eyes opened in recognition. Wonsik was right. If they hadn’t been seen, he might have lost himself in their moment. He might even have allowed Wonsik to see his own desire. He might have let him fuck him over the counter.

Having Jaehwan notice what was happening had made him withdraw, go still with indecision. And now, he realised it was pointless to hide because Wonsik could tell anyway, whether he wanted to show him or not.

“You… you were ignoring me,” Taekwoon murmured, finally looking at Wonsik again.

Wonsik paused, serious. Taekwoon went still too, appreciating that Wonsik had picked up on what was troubling him.

“I… I thought you didn’t want it to be obvious what happened. To the others. Because of how you avoided Hakyeonnie when we met him at the door.”

“Oh.”

Taekwoon stared, feeling all that confusion and overthinking had been so unnecessary. Wonsik had been far from ignoring him, in fact, he had been actively doing what he thought Taekwoon wanted.

So it had all been for Taekwoon anyway, and what he thought his wishes were.

Taekwoon closed his eyes, mollified, so very happy - and exhausted by himself.

“I was going crazy. All I could think of was us, and you wouldn’t even look at me. Even watching you eat was irritating-“

Wonsik laughed, loud and hearty, and Taekwoon felt it throughout his body.

“I wanted your hands on me. I wanted your eyes on me.”

Wonsik slowed his laughter, his eyes dropping to look at Taekwoon’s mouth.

“Whatever you want,” he said, waiting til Taekwoon opened his eyes, and staring into them without any guile, genuine.

Taekwoon kissed him, soft, chaste.

Then he took Wonsik’s hand and led him to the bed.

**

Wonsik saw it over and over again. Taekwoon’s soft, lax expression, as he whispered through his tears.

“I love you.”

It was like a gong that had sounded quietly in some other room - but then the reverberations were steadily growing until the words rang loud in his head.

He had said it without any reserve, just stating it almost with abandon, as if he were saying “You win.”

Wonsik had thought everything was fairly straight forward. They went to dinner. He saw Taekwoon avoid his best friend’s inquiring glance, even though it seemed like there was no use pretending to Hakyeon, and took it as a cue to let Taekwoon take the lead as to whether their hooking up was to be announced.

He had thought their interaction was unseen, and realised now that Jaehwannie must have had a bit of a fright - and of course understood that Taekwoon had reacted the way he did because of Jaehwan’s awareness.

But at the time, Wonsik had thought Taekwoon was having a hard time trying not to think about their night. About him. Wonsik didn’t believe in regret much, but now, he thought it funny that he had assumed Taekwoon was blushing furiously because of his own lurid gestures to him. He really had thought that he had the power to make Taekwoon blush and look away.

For that little moment, it had felt rather good to be able to have that hold over Taekwoon. Their night together had made one thing clear to Wonsik: he had feelings for Taekwoon that he wasn’t ever really aware of himself having before.

Taekwoon had always held the seniority card over him, in a rather pedantic way, which always seemed strained and unnatural. It felt as if Taekwoon sometimes tried to be Hyung in ways he thought people were Hyungs - as if he had seen gestures of older brotherliness in films or in society, and sought to emulate them with the kind of awkwardness that inspired derision and teasing in younger people.

Wonsik could see that for Taekwoon, his natural place in a team was as some sort of highly functional, capable, adorable kid. Like, in soccer. He was obviously used to being useful in the home, despite being the only boy and the youngest, and dare Wonsik say, the cutest, in his family. He knew how to live away from home, which was more than could be said for some of the members. Both he and Hakyeon stepped up to their leadership roles with their own unique kind of confidence, but where Hakyeon kept the team motivated by a fierce loyalty and solidarity, Taekwoon was by nature a supporter, and didn’t trust his own instincts enough to lay aside what he thought was expected behaviour from him. He needed to read the team dynamic, which was hard to do if he had separated himself from the pack out of the misguided idea that a leader was supposed to be distant and stoic.

But Wonsik realised that Taekwoon relaxed into his role much sooner than Wonsik cared to admit, and had been holding his initial stuffy style against him even throughout their debut as a duo. Wonsik found he changed his perspective on Taekwoon during that time - but he supposed that whatever window of opportunity for them to find each other as more than colleagues, passed before he could fathom its existence.

And, sharing those quiet moments alone that morning, when all they had done was dress each other in silence, walked together and shared the ride together - those moments signalled something beautiful between them that Wonsik hadn’t imagined before. He liked it. And, he realised, he liked Taekwoon. A lot.

So, by the time they had walked up to Hakyeon’s front door, Wonsik was certain that he was going to make it up to Taekwoon, to make up for the all the years it had taken him to wake up to what was between them.

He realised it could have so easily turned bad last night. He was just glad that Taekwoon had shown him patience and let him say his piece.

And then, after all the strange agitation at Hakyeon’s, seeing Taekwoon relax visibly under his gaze, under his touch, inspired something in Wonsik that made him think he never wanted for them not to understand each other again, no matter how trifling a matter.

_I love you._

Wonsik didn’t feel the need to reciprocate immediately - and he could see that Taekwoon wasn’t expecting him to. Wonsik felt that they understood each other enough to know that what Taekwoon said was a declaration of his feeling, and whilst it was momentous, it stood on its own between them, requiring no reaction or action to make it complete. It was, in itself, Taekwoon’s power.

This is how it is. _I love you._

Wonsik didn’t think he was there yet. He knew he didn’t see falling in love the same way as everyone else - but he realised that Taekwoon knew that of him, and wasn’t pushing him to reciprocate. If anything, Wonsik felt that his view of love was rather intellectual, almost academic, and if he tried to say those words right now, he might turn Taekwoon off forever.

And when Taekwoon seemed to move past whatever it had been that was agitating him - Wonsik realised that Taekwoon’s doubts must have eased once they got in the car together - he seemed to make no claims on Wonsik, to have no expectations of him. Apart from that little moment.

_You wouldn’t look at me._

This surprised Wonsik with how much it pleased him. His usual response to Taekwoon of late had been retaliative, provocative, contrary. Now, he felt an overwhelming desire to reach for Taekwoon, to offer himself, to be whatever Taekwoon needed him to be.

A little of it was physical too. He wanted to please him, and whilst he sensed that Taekwoon desired, perhaps needed, a trust between them that was enough for him to lose any inhibitions, it was Wonsik who was ready to serve, ready to give, to make that space for Taekwoon.

Wonsik realised that, for want of a better word, he was whipped.

He revelled in the knowledge that Taekwoon had harboured deep feelings for him for so long, and that he also lusted after his body - but only because he could use it in his desire to pleasure Taekwoon thoroughly.

So when Taekwoon stated simply, that he wanted Wonsik, Wonsik had no reservations about stating simply, that he was ready to give it to him.

Taekwoon led him to the bed, then turned to Wonsik, smoothly unbuckling his belt, his head bent as he focused on his labours, his mouth turned down at the corners as he concentrated. Wonsik didn’t help, just let Taekwoon unbutton his pants, and deftly pull his zipper down. He let his pants slide down to the floor, then put his forefingers into the elastic of his stretch boxers.

Taekwoon stared at Wonsik’s waistline there as he ran his fingers around the waistband, his hands reaching around his narrow waist, fingers appreciative on his skin, running smoothly over the curve of his ass and meeting around the back, where they squeezed his flesh gently. Wonsik kept his eyes on Taekwoon, whose brows had knitted together as he felt him.

Taekwoon’s eyes fluttered up as he squeezed again.

“You have a beautiful body,” he said, as if it hurt to say. Wonsik felt like his cock would bust out of his boxers, and all Taekwoon was doing was holding him and saying words.

“It’s beautiful because it’s yours,” Taekwoon said, and for some reason, this made Wonsik’s breath catch. Why would Taekwoon say that? Of course it was his body.

_Because it’s yours._

From his intonation, Wonsik understood it to mean that if he wasn’t in great shape, Taekwoon would still love his body because it was his. Because of him. He gasped, suddenly finding a little more comprehension in what this meant for Taekwoon.

“It’s for you. Whatever you want, Hyung. It’s for you,” Wonsik heard himself saying, and in that moment he felt how he thought Taekwoon felt, when he had said “I love you”.

Taekwoon pulled on the elastic, exposing his erection, the tip swollen and beaded with pre-come. He sighed, pleased, and looked into Wonsik’s eyes. When he spoke, it was a whisper, fervent, urgent, intimate. As he said the words, his eyes turned haunted, as if he couldn’t hold back his true nature as it revealed itself. He seemed helpless, resigned. He looked drunk, forlorn.

“I just want you to fuck me.”

Wonsik could feel his body pulse in response to that pure, naked desire - no, need - and the urge to push Taekwoon face down onto the bed and fuck into him hard was so strong it shocked him. He grasped Taekwoon’s forearms as he caught his breath, his eyes dropping to Taekwoon’s mouth, the look of lust hanging over his eyes as he literally panted, licking his lips.

Taekwoon seemed to realise that Wonsik was on the edge, and he felt himself lift a little out of that helpless, drunken desire that was coursing through him, to relish the moment. He could see it was happening to Wonsik too. He stepped in close, so that he could murmur almost against Wonsik’s lips.

“Fuck me hard so I can’t breathe. Fuck me til I’m screaming, fuck me til I come, make me come so hard you make me empty, empty and clean and new.”

Taekwoon was delighted to see Wonsik’s eyes roll back as he shut them and bit his lip.

“WIll you?” Wonsik nodded, a little urgently. Taekwoon took his cock in his hand, and squeezed firmly as he pulled on it slowly from the base to the tip. He watched as Wonsik’s face spasmed into a frown. He moaned, deep.

“Can you?” Taekwoon asked. Wonsik’s eyes fluttered open.

“Yes,” he breathed.

“I don’t think you’re going to last very long,” Taekwoon whispered, his hand returning to the base, now slick with precome, and slowly squeezing back up to the tip. Wonsik groaned, his head bowing til he leaned his forehead on Taekwoon’s shoulder. He seemed to be trying to say something to the contrary, but Taekwoon interrupted him by pushing him away and kneeling at his feet. He looked up at Wonsik’s face, whose expression was at once agonised with need, and anticipating an exquisite delight. His beautiful mouth hung open, wet.

He took his cock in his hand and licked the already wet tip before plunging it deep into his mouth, his eyes closing as he savoured the weight and taste on his tongue. Wonsik gave a tight moan, which opened into a low, growling sigh as Taekwoon sucked and swallowed as much as he could down the length of his cock, and back up again.

He reached the tip and let his tongue slide along the underside til he could lick over the head and kiss it with a suck, then placed just the head on his tongue and let his lips suckle on it as his tongue pulsed and stroked it there, just under the tip. Wonsik was staring at his mouth, red, swollen, pulsing and suckling on him as it was, and he could feel his breaths shortening into quick gasps.

Taekwoon saw that Wonsik was about to come, and he moaned, whined, as he swallowed him deep, his hands going round to Wonsik’s ass to hold him close.

As Wonsik started climaxing, Taekwoon felt his hands close round his head, and, anticipating a harsh fucking, was surprised to find that Wonsik slowed his thrust right down, sliding his cock ever so slowly along the rough of his tongue, once, twice, as he groaned, low and deep and breathy. He looked up to see Wonsik’s eyes, open and lax, staring down at him as he fucked gently into his mouth again, slow and deep. His whole abdomen contracted as he orgasmed, and his eyes stared, fuck-drunk, into his as he came.

“Fuck. Fuuck,” Wonsik sighed, slowly, slowly, pulling out and sighing with relief, his hands still cradling Taekwoon’s head, almost delicately, as he stared deep into his eyes.

Taekwoon swallowed, licking his lips, standing up to kiss him gently, Wonsik’s breaths the even breaths of a thoroughly sated body.

Taekwoon could see it had taken a lot out of him, and whilst his own needs had taken a dampener, he liked that he had made this happen, and it delighted him to have given Wonsik such pleasure.

“Lie with me,” he said. He quickly stripped as Wonsik took off his shirt, and they fell into the unmade bed, shifting the coverings to make space for them.

They lay in each other’s embrace, and Taekwoon watched Wonsik’s expression dim as he let fatigue overtake him. He looked young, his muscles relaxed and heavy, his body a deadweight as he lay half turned, on his side but leaning forward onto Taekwoon’s chest, his head finally resting in the crook of Taekwoon’s neck, his lips close enough to be able to mouth gently at Taekwoon’s skin.

Taekwoon whispered, feeling flutters of heat skipping through his body as he felt those lips tug gently on his flesh.

“If I’m still asleep when you wake up, fuck me. Wake me up. Fuck me awake.”

He heard Wonsik moan.

“Hyung-“

“Don’t forget,” Taekwoon didn’t want Wonsik to try to stay awake, because he wanted to see him sleep, wanted to feel that the pleasure he had given him was complete.

Taekwoon let his head fall back, and he relaxed under Wonsik’s heavy breathing, the warmth of his body and the sighs in his breath, lulling him to sleep too.

**

Wonsik opened his eyes and found he had wound his arms around Taekwoon’s torso as Taekwoon had turned away from him sometime during the night. He lay there, blinking blearily into the semi-darkness and trying to decide if it was the glow of light from inside his apartment, or the the light of the morning sun, that he could see.

He raised his head a little to look up through the small space between the window and the blinds, to see outside. It was dark.

Then, Wonsik felt his awareness fully come back to him. They had returned home in the early evening, and it had still been a little light outside when they had finally walked into his home.

Wonsik remembered that Taekwoon had fellated him spectacularly, drawing an orgasm from his body that had put him out like a light - and he was chagrined to think that he had promptly fallen asleep. He sighed into Taekwoon’s back, inhaling the scent of his skin and remembering suddenly, that he had been tasked to wake Taekwoon.

_Fuck me awake._

He hadn’t realised there was this side to Taekwoon, not even when they had rutted like rabbits the day before.

Despite the fact that Wonsik had been about to deliver some attention to Taekwoon’s body for his pleasure after he had been positively thrumming with anticipation all evening, Taekwoon had turned the tables on him with some very intense pillow talk and a sudden blowjob - all before giving him a mission that, now that he was back to consciousness, made him realise how much he loved fulfilling tasks.

He felt himself getting hard, and let his body lean forward, pushing Taekwoon halfway on to his front, so that he lay partially across him, and was able to use his uppermost leg to push Taekwoon’s uppermost leg and bend it so that it spread his ass a little.

Wonsik groaned, turned on by the vehemence with which Taekwoon had given him his mission, and determined to give Taekwoon what he wanted.

For him, he wanted for Taekwoon to wake up moaning, wake up ready to orgasm, but he knew he would probably wake sooner than he could get to the deed - because Wonsik wanted to touch him, prepare him, and savour his body in his barely-awake, lusty state of mind.

Already, his cock was hard, and he let himself press against the hard swell of Taekwoon’s thigh as he pulled himself closer and slid a hand over Taekwoon’s side to reach up his front and grasp his chest over the nipple, holding him tight as he kneaded him there and let his fingers ghost over his sensitive skin.

He moaned again, letting his nose run along Taekwoon’s spine til he reached the nape of his neck, inhaling deeply when he got to his hairline, and opening his mouth to lick thickly along his skin, before sucking gently on it and kissing it. His hips thrust gently as his body undulated against Taekwoon’s, and he let himself moan over and over, throaty and breathy as he finally took Taekoon’s nipple between his finger and thumb and rolled it ever so slowly.

He felt Taekwoon stir, his body shuddering abruptly at the sensation, and then Taekwoon drew a deep breath and arched as he stretched, his ass cheeks opening up as he pushed it back against Wonsik’s cock. His cock slipped right between, and as it pressed into the crevice where his hole was, Wonsik heard Taekwoon sigh, sleepy and husky. Wonsik let go of Taekwoon, freeing his arms to raise himself up, and let the tip of his cock find that centre, and pushed in, just the head.

Anticipating that Taekwoon would awake in discomfort, he was prepared to withdraw, but he saw Taekwoon’s mouth fall open softly as he sighed, his head throwing back a little as he lay half on his side and gently thrust back into Wonsik. Wonsik felt his cock get about halfway in and he made shallow thrusts that got ever so slightly deeper as he thrust, and he was pleased to see Taekwoon’s breath quicken, the tip of his tongue showing as he moaned and sighed, his eyes still closed.

Besides the sensation of his cock encircled by that tight ring of muscles, Wonsik felt his desire being whetted by the sight of Taekwoon’s body responding to him while he was barely awake, his face lax except for where a small crease in his brow spoke of how exquisitely out of reach his climax was still, his ribcage gently undulating as he moaned and sighed, and his ass staring to pump gently, meeting his own thrusts with a gentle fervour.

He saw Taekwoon’s eyes flutter open, fully awake, and felt himself sink fully into his hole, the heat from his body enveloping him and making him groan, harshly.

Taekwoon responded by letting out a breathy moan, and his hand sought out Wonsik’s, so that he could interlace their fingers, Wonsik’s hand palm down over the back of Taekwoon’s. Taekwoon brought their hands close to his chest as he felt Wonsik begin to thrust into him in earnest.

Taekwoon shut his eyes hard, letting the force of Wonsik’s thrusts determine his breaths, panting at every buck of his hips as he began to feel the haze of a comforting, measured, powerful fuckingsettle over him. He felt his body, which had been waking up from sleep, soften into a pliant mass that seemed to exist solely to receive that fucking from Wonsik.

Taekwoon felt a sort of relief come over him. He didn’t need to orgasm - he was already getting what he wanted and needed. He knew that he would reach completion, but his satisfaction already lay in knowing that Wonsik would orgasm again, and that this morning fucking was just for Taekwoon.

Taekwoon felt his cock jump at the thought of Wonsik waking up and just slipping himself deep into Taekwoon’s body, fucking him senseless for as long as possible, until one of them just tipped over into their climax, bringing the other with him too.

He felt that haze shift, felt himself wanting to reciprocate, and he turned to look back, just as Wonsik brought himself close, so that he rested his chin against his shoulder.

“I want to go on my knees,” he whispered, and Wonsik immediately pushed his thigh and knee under Taekwoon’s, shifting his leg up along the mattress so that his ass spread wider as he felt Wonsik pull his hands away from him to push himself up, still inside him, so that the both of them were getting leverage to shift their weight onto their knees. As Wonsik took his weight off Taekwoon’s back, Taekwoon pushed back into position, knees bent, his ass high, and his chest fallen, softened into the bed.

He sighed deeply as Wonsik thrust deeper, the pleasure of being fucked hard finally reaching its peak, making Taekwoon feel like he could take it forever.

He sobbed as Wonsik grabbed his hips with both hands, pulling on him as he thrust, his own noises guttural, animal, as he pumped hard, keeping a steady rhythm.

Taekwoon could feel that the plateau of pleasure was intensifying, and he could hear himself whining gently, “It’s so good, oh, Shikkie, it’s so, so fucking good,” and the act of saying what he felt became almost confessionary, and the idea that he was almost pleading as he spoke to Wonsik became almost spiritual, and because it felt spiritual, but also purely physical and animal, Taekwoon felt himself begin to weep for how good, how so fucking good it was.

The tears, and the moaning and the words and the feeling, and having Wonsik still pounding into him even though he was probably bewildered by the tears, all culminated in an overwhelming sensation that he was breathing pleasure with his whole body, and as he started coming, his moans turned into a long, guttural aspiration of want, and desire and pleasure, and it didn’t stop till he was sobbing into the sheets, the climax so intense and all-consuming that his body spasmed and shuddered for many seconds as he came down, falling forward onto the bed as he did.

When the tremors finally stopped, he realised Wonsik was still inside, him, even though he had stilled and dropped his weight onto his elbows to hold him close enough that he still had some space to breathe and let his body see his orgasm through.

Panting, moaning softly on each breath, Taekwoon felt his eyes shut, heavy with the sleep that was coming. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for leaving Wonsik, but he could feel his consciousness slipping away.

But then he felt Wonsik’s breath at his ear as he murmured, his voice rich and husky with desire, in his ear.

“So Hyung. Did I show you?”

Taekwoon smiled, nodding, barely able to open his eyes.

He felt Wonsik shift, then murmur again into his ear as he felt him brace himself to move. “I’m pulling out,” he said, quickly slipping his cock out and moving to lie on his back next to Taekwoon.

Their hands met, and they clasped each other. Wonsik grasped at the bedding next to him, and pulled it over the both of them, turning as he covered Taekwoon too, and ending up lying on his side facing Taekwoon, who was still on his front, his face turned to Wonsik.

Wonsik hugged in close, his face nuzzling almost against Taekwoon’s which was peaceful and relaxed, a smile lingering on his lips from Wonsik’s busy-ness.

“What about you, Shikkie?”

“Me? Don’t worry, we’ll have a shower when we wake up and maybe you will help me out,” he drawled. “Since I showed you.”

Taekwoon couldn’t help smiling wide, and he chuckled softly, feeling the warmth they were generating between them suffuse his body.

He felt himself receding, the pleasure in his body like a heat that was declining too, and he vaguely remembered that this body that was devoid of doubts and anxieties, this body that was empty and refreshed and about to replenish itself with sleep, had been through the opposite only a few hours before.

He liked the certainty that he felt now, the certainty that came from leaving those thoughts behind, and trusting in the physical sensations, and the emotional non-resistance.

He felt his senses dimming, his awareness stilling as he felt sleep overcome him completely, but not before he heard the gentle rumble of that voice, the shift of warm air near his ear, the cuddle of those legs and arms against his sated, limp body.

“I love you.”

If Taekwoon could have reached back up from out of the depths of his sleep, he would have, but instead he took the words, the sound and the breath, down with him, and for the first time since it all began, he slept full.


End file.
